I chose to obscure my picture because I know this is a controversial subject to say the least - one I still deal with myself - It is the genre of light skinned vs dark skinned. There's also a symbolic reason behind obscuring it; this is how a person is made to feel simply because he or she has more melanin in their skin, than others. It is a pretty shallow reason to look down on a person and make them feel less than anyone else...like they don't exist...like they are obscured. I know a lot of you out there will be skeptical on the legitimacy of this issue, but unless you are dark skinned and have lived it, don't be so quick to repute the subject
I am a 26 year old woman who has LIVED more than my share of proof, that the negative belief, the whiter (or lighter) a person is, the more successful or beautiful they are, is very much still alive. I've been over looked for parts in plays, snubbed, and 'reluctantly' chosen to join in certain groups because of my skin tone. I've been chosen second behind my lighter sisters for dates and have heard men, darker than myself, quip how they "don't date dark skinned women". I've encountered men who, unaware that I was in ear-shot range, jokingly quoted a very hurtful old adage [among the black race] that says "if you're light you're alright, If you're brown stick around, but if you're black stay back!"
I'm the darkest of four "high- yellow" sisters, and people usually wonder what happened to me [complexion], or if we all share the same biological father. But shortly after they realize how insensitive their remarks are, they will try to save face by making some asinine statement such as " but you're pretty for a 'dark skinned' girl". Why can't I be just a pretty girl without the reference to my skin tone? You never hear someone say "she's a pretty 'light skinned' girl". They don't make those type references because somehow, having light skinned [and European features], is closely related to our white counterparts, and therefore equated with being beautiful; and if a woman happens to be beautiful with, 'dark skin', it seems to be something out of the ordinary. All of this superficial loathing leads me to recount the words of Philosophy Major, Martin Mwangince, who asked "if people reject their God-given race and skin colour what is left to determine their identity...the rejection eventually leads to the rejection of most things African"
I have been struggling for years to develop a positive self image behind all of the warped and racially manurial views that people fling at me. I am only now beginning to embrace my uniqueness in the way God made me, and I believe that I am well on my way to victory. But if truth be told, during my journey to self acceptance, there had been times I secretly longed to be biracial or even just 2 shades lighter than what I am. I have used tons of make up tricks, chemically straightened my hair, and changed my eye color [with contact lenses] to lessen my ethnicity. I feared marrying a man [with dark complexion] because I didn't want to bear a dark skinned daughter that would be subjected to the same racial biases as I had encountered. Honestly, I have to admit, that when I use to see an onyx-colored black woman, I would catch myself thinking "wow...at least I'm not as dark as HER, then would feel awful because I realized I was playing into the same stereotype that has been continually reinforced among my people. I would grow so tired of hearing some pale skinned militant renegade, sing about how "black is beautiful". I could only ask the questions [in my mind] if black was so beautiful, why were darker skinned women discriminated against, even within our own race? If black was so beautiful why were there more light skinned girls in movies and rap videos, with one token dark skinned girl thrown in ? Why did the lighter skinned women get the leading role in movies, and if a dark skinned girl got a part, why was it they were always playing the role of the drug addict, ghetto girl, or the gyrating hoochie? Why did whole races of blacks, like the Ethiopians, refuse to be labeled "black" but rather Egyptian?
If black is so beautiful why did people bleach their skin...people like Sammy Sosa, who admitted to lightening his skin to look 'fair'...if light skin is fair then apparently dark skin must be 'unfair'? Why did women like Rhianna, who were already light skinned bleach their skin even lighter? Or why are there so many more successful light skinned models, like Tyra Banks
and not nearly enough gorgeous models like Jamaican born Gaye Mcdonald.
And why do successful black celebs marry light skinned black women (IF THEY MARRY BLACK AT ALL)?
I know I've thrown a lot out there to you all. But if you're still not convinced that this is a very real issue, then reflect on the white doll-black doll experiment performed by Kenneth Clark In the 1954 test, Clark showed children a black doll and a white doll and asked black children which doll they preferred. The majority chose the white and identified the black doll as being negative.
The experiment was repeated by Jr film maker Kari Davis, just a few years ago, and the results haven't changed all that much. Davis sat with 21 black kids in New York and found that 16 of them liked the white doll better.
Beyond that, she documented teen girls speaking on how difficult it is being excepted with naturally kinky hair and dark skin. Again, it is merely a reflection of the same kind of societal stereotype reinforced in this country.
As I've mentioned, I'm in a much better place these days because of my Lord and Savior. I remember deciding to just open the Bible to see what God had to say about me as a woman...as a black woman. Imagine my surprise when I came across the song of Solomon (Solomon 1:5,6), and read how his bride-to-be belittles herself because she was, you guessed it, DARK SKINNED. I thought wow, just how long has this been going on [laughing]? It's a good thing I didn't stop right there out of frustration. I went on to discover that regardless of her complexion Solomon [a king] the wisest man who ever lived, loved her above all other women. But more importantly I discovered the the 'King of Kings', loves me and died for me just the way I was (and am). He took the time to create me and fashion my ebony skin specifically to his liking. He specially created me and never intended for me to emulate other races. All life started in Africa, a fact that should draw us all together, not separate us. It is a fact that I'm very proud of. And when I look into the mirror I see the one, whose image, I was created in. I learned that if someone has a problem with my complexion, it is THEIR problem and twisted perception of beauty and self hatred...not mine!
Yes I'm more self aware these days and now see the master's plan in everything. However, I wonder if this nation as whole will ever be a place Where black is truly beautiful?
Rana T. is a native of Rienzi Mississippi and is an advocate for children's welfare. She is currently working on her degree in the field of Early Childhood Development. To contact Rana T. email yolandarospeakinglife@inbox.com with the subject line "To Rana T."
I chose to obscure my picture because I know this is a controversial subject to say the least - one I still deal with myself - It is the genre of light skinned vs dark skinned. There's also a symbolic reason behind obscuring it; this is how a person is made to feel simply because he or she has more melanin in their skin, than others. It is a pretty shallow reason to look down on a person and make them feel less than anyone else...like they don't exist...like they are obscured. I know a lot of you out there will be skeptical on the legitimacy of this issue, but unless you are dark skinned and have lived it, don't be so quick to repute the subject
