Forgiveness is one of the Christian principles that we most have trouble with. Sometimes it makes us feel as if we are allowing someone to get away with doing physical, mental, verbal, or even spiritual harm to us. Yet, it is crucial to our very lives, that we excercise forgiveness.
What are the limits of forgiveness and can we truly and completely forgive any [and all] heinous acts committed against us? For instance: Is it truly possible for a man to forgive his brother for sleeping with his wife, or can a woman ever forgive and love her own sister who engaged in an affair with her husband? Would the limits of forgiveness be tested if a father inappropriately touches his child? Is it possible to forgive a friend who lied and caused you a job? Or, in the case of Ronald Cotton, is it possible to forgive someone who falsely accused you of rape, which ultimately lead to imprisonment for 11 years? Ronald did in fact meet, cry with, and forgive his accuser . What would have been most people's response?
I spoke to one of our readers, "Tracey", who recalled an experience with one acquaintance of hers. Tracey and her friend "Bonita" weren't the best of friends. However, they had close client-clientele relationship. Bonita was Tracey's hairdresser and had even been to her home a few times. Their relationship was a very cordial but pleasant one. But Tracey began having uneasy feelings whenever her husband was anywhere near Bonita. She shrugged it off and even scolded herself for her suspicions. But her suspicions were not unfounded and and she later discovered the two had engaged in an affair. What did she do? "I teetered between wanting to kill them both!' says Tracey. "I was furious and I wanted to do them bodily harm...In fact, I remember lamming my husband across the face so hard that he stumbled!" One day later, after she'd calmed down a bit, Tracey confronted Bonita. "I remember just asking 'why?'..... at first she didn't answer, then she broke down and said it wasn't intentional...it just happened." Tracey recounts her anger at the betrayal...then something unexpected occured." ...a strange calmness fell on me. I was able to tell that she [Bonita} was scared, frightened, and remorseful. I'm not going to say that I didn't tell her just what I thought about her and what she did to me. But at the same time I found myself telling her that this wasn't the way women of God were suppose to behave...God does not condone this type of sexual impurity. Then it dawned on me...I had just witnessed to her....I had actually witnessed to someone who had stabbed me in the back." As for how Tracey was able to find it within herself to forgive such a betrayal, she said " I can say that I definitely would not have been able to do that had God not been present in my life." That was 10 years ago. Tracey and her husband eventually went their separate ways. But the two met up recently. She describes her ex as a man who had lived a hard life since their divorce. The once arrogant smirky look in his eyes had now given way by sadder more humble appearance." He profusely and sincerely apologized to me", Tracey says. "He apologized for the hurt and pain he'd cause during those early years. He's finally done the one thing in his life, he should have done years ago. And that was to sincerely received Christ in his heart." The two now maintain a relationship that may lead to a reconciliation. When I asked Tracey if she had completely forgiven both he and Bonita. Her reply was " I don't know....sometimes I believe I have. Other days the thoughts of his infidelity resurfaces. What I can definitely say is, regardless if we reunite or not, I'm sincerely 'trying' to forgive him so I can truly be free and live my life to the fullest"
We might as well understand that as Christians, we 'wil'l be tested in the area of forgiveness. The pain, at times will be almost intolerable. But ultimately we are expected by God, to forgive and even "pray" for our assailants (scrip). So many have asked how is it possible to forgive one who has caused a hurt so deeply. But I can also add that to forgive, literally lifts a weight off the soul and frees the spirit to heal and soar.
Talk back to us. Let us know your thoughts on this, and other stories of betrayal and forgiveness.
*Further Bible references on forgiveness
|
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Matthew 6:12
...forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Matthew 18:21-22
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 5:44-45
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven
Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.
Romans 12:19
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the LORD.
|
|