Isn't it amazing how every instruction God gives us, is constantly refuted by the secular authorities? The latest study insists that Spanking increases a child's chances of being an aggressive individual ( read here). This particular form of discipline is repeatedly questioned by secular counselors; and so is our (those who spank) love for our children is questioned as well. But the Bible differs with these studies by reminding us that "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him (prov 13:24). It goes on to say in Proverbs 29:15: "the rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
I never place much weight on 'spanking studies' because they tend to lump together mild forms of spanking with severe forms of physical abuse - There are no clear lines of separation drawn. Therefore the conclusions are skewed. The words "spanking" and "abuse" are not interchangeable - There is a big difference between the two. A smack on the bottom of a defiant child does not constitute abuse.
Children want the freedom to make choices that they, sometimes, are not equipped to make. But in the end they want/need boundaries and guidance from us, and we have to step into the role God has placed upon us. Proverbs 22:15 teaches us that "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." The purpose of a spanking is not to cause any lasting bodily harm, but to cause spiritual correction. A spanking should cause short-lived pain that makes a point. That point is that the small amount of pain they feel now will prevent them from feeling greater and more detrimental pain (perhaps even preventing death) in the future.
I personally suggest spankings as a last resort. Spankings should always be preceded by prayer, time spent teaching and talking with the child about consequences and actions, time-outs, restrictions, and or groundings. *Sidenote: Of course I must reiterate first setting a good example before your kids. Spankings, restrictions, and any other form of discipline is a waste of time if the child is witnessing undesirable behavior in the parent. The old "do as I say, not as I do mentality" has never worked. Children will respect, trust, and obey the parent more when they see them abiding by the same rules that are being imposed on them.
Thankfully every child does not require spankings. But for others, it is next to impossible to reason with them. Those are the children who warrant a smack on the backside. I discovered this to be true with my daughter, who was a very strong-willed little girl. We tried raising her by the text books of the "child experts" but discovered it was making little impact on her until we backed it up with a little backside English! Whatever happened to her? My daughter, now a teen, thanks me constantly for being the type of mother, who not only spanked her when she needed it but, the kind who actually sat down and talked with her about life, consequences, and God's instructions for our lives. So according to the experts she, and all of us who grew up being spanked, should be a totally aggressive and emotional mess. So why is that not true in this case. It's because when you love your children unconditionally , and they see that you are willing to go that extra mile for them, there is no long term emotional scarring.
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